Koolar’s – Irani Food and Antique Chairs.

Of the many things that define Mumbai, the all but extinct Irani restaurants have the most character. With an unpretentious ambience of colourful slang and people having an hair cut on the pavement, these musty, smoky cafes are reminiscent of a bygone era. An era now replaced by mammon worshipping international chains who are hell bent on shoving expensive iterations of bad food down your throat. One such Irani cafe is Koolar’s. Look up any decent food directory and you’ll find encouraging views on this popular little nook. Bad Directions won’t disagree either.

Located in the spot that connects Dadar to Matunga, Koolar’s & Co, Restaurant & Stores has been delighting its loyal (and greying) customers for 77 years with their specialty — Kheema Pav. I’ve never had this being a vegetarian; but those who have, swear that it’s the best one around. Another Irani favourite is the Brun Pav. Try biting into one; just don’t forget to pluck your teeth off it later (FYI, it’s meant to be that way). The fabled Irani-Persian Tea (7 bucks a cup) is a great accompaniment to soften the Brun Pav, ensuring that you don’t end up giving birth to it next morning. They also have an oddly named Wrestler’s Omlette (at a throwaway price of Rs. 22), which is the Irani answer to Tabasco-laden food and a symbol of manliness for the scrawny Indian male. The obsession with eggs continues with Honey Egg (Rs. 40) and Chicken Omeltte (Rs. 75). If you’re thinking about Mocha’s for grandparents, you’re on the right track with hookahs (Rs. 150) being available sans the giggly 15 year olds and disgusting PDAs.

Since this was built before the British left India and hasn’t been majorly renovated, it still retains some of its old world charm — heavy wooden chairs (supposedly German, don’t ask. Maybe that’s why we don’t see any Jews around here), sleepy atmosphere, the tinkle of saucers and teacups, and discoloured advertisements framed and mounted on the walls in particular. Don’t let this fool you, Koolar’s has been featured in movies like Vaastav and Bardasht to name a few. Nothing beats sitting here for ages (they’re open from 6 am until midnight) with a piping hot cuppa and good music on the Jukebox.

The Verdict
Rating: 4/5 (I always get to talk to friendly managers, Mr. Ali Irani in this case)
Pricing: 5/5 (200 bucks are enough to buy a meal for two)
Location: Noor Mahal, Adenwala Road. This one’s right next to Fu Yong’s. You can ask for directions here.